Every morning without rain I sit and eat breakfast in the garden out front until the mosquitos drive me in. Still having strange mood swings. This morning, nearly every morning, I have extreme elation, comprehension, appreciation for simplicity, nature. Childish wonderment and fascination with the world, the trees, light patterns. As I walked back from getting my breakfast the air was splendid on my skin, in my clothes, liangkuai. I imagined someone would think I had a lover from my expression, demeanor, gait. I replied yes, I do, its the air, caressing my body all morning as I awake.
And then I have class with Liu Laoshi. She arrived and we were both pleased. I asked her if there was a reason and she said no, just general. I agreed completely. But as I begin to practice I feel deep frustration because I am not getting it, the 3rd tone gives me such trouble. I am quite unused to having to work so hard. This learning chinese is physical, I have to train my voice to work very differently. If it were thinking more or differently I could understand it by now, my progress would be greater. But speaking chinese is just practice practice practice. I start to feel badly, depressed. I must keep going, practicing by myself.
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